SWIMMING...I officially have the 2nd fastest 400m freestyle time ever swam at my high school!!!!! and 9th fastest 200 I.M!!!!!! I'm super excited. I'm only a freshman so think about what I can do by my Senior year!!!!!!
Homework kills right now. I have so many test to study for it's ridiculous. really I shouldn't even be online but I just had an amazingly difficult practice. Maybe I'll right a bit more and then do that studying.
This is stuck ing my head.
-> I got a chill and I wanted to say it was you
Be still because what I,m about to say is the truth
Unless we stretch until the point in nearly breaking in two
We,ll never find our weakness coming on glue
A cracked sculpture I wanted to say it was you
Being vultures is why I feel the way I do
I fell in love and I wanted to say it was you
I wanted to say it was you
If you believe me
We can stand the test of time like no one else
If you believe me
It means you have to disbelieve yourself
A sudden wind and I wanted to say it was you
I never been so confused about who knows the truth
It began when I wanted to say it was you
Cause I swore you had your head in this too
If you believe me
We can stand the test of time like no one else
If you believe me
You know it means you have to disbelieve yourself
If you believe me
Because I,m here wondering what could you be thinking
Though I know you that you,re thinking I wonder that all the time
I can still invade your thoughts when you,re not with me
Yet don,t mind me I,m just a pinside on your mind
Yeah don,t mind me I know you,re wondering all the time
If you believe me
We can stand the test of time like no one else
If you believe me
It means you have to disbelieve yourself
If you believe me
also this one
->I hate feeling like this
I’m so tired of trying to fight this
I’m asleep and all I dream of
Is waking to you
Tell me that you will listen
Your touch is what I’m missing
And the more I hide I realize I’m slowly losing you
Comatose
I’ll never wake up without an overdose of you
Chorus:
I don’t wanna live
I don’t wanna breathe
‘les I feel you next to me
you take the pain I feel
waking up to you never felt so real
I don’t wanna sleep
I don’t wanna dream
‘cause my dreams don’t comfort me
The way you make me feel
Waking up to you never felt so real
I hate living without you
Dead wrong to ever doubt you
But my demons lay in waiting
Tempting me away
Oh how I adore you
Oh how I thirst for you
Oh how I need you
Bridge: Breathing life
Waking up My eyes
Open up
Don’t leave me alone
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Apple Juice...I feel like apple juice is the only way to go. Orange juice have pulp, olive juice is gross, carrot juice is orange, canberry juice is too tart, but APPLE JUICE is perfect :]
I felt like quite the poet today.
smurf, smurf, oh brainy smurf
where did you put my purple nerf?
:]
now that I'm single again I'm happier. I don't feel guilty for noticing guys or smiling from ear to ear remembering some adorable moment we shared. Anyway, i'm ridin' solo ridin' solo ridin' solo ...ooOOOoooo
I spoke with joel yesterday and told him I would hug him thursday whether he liked it or not. He said he wasn't sure if he would or not and i said he would so he said he'd better :] Funny little banter like this makes me smile. Which I needed today.
I'm not about to bore you with the details of my day. anyway I discovered that I have a problem with the word totalitarianism. In my head it sounds right but it won't come out of my mouth. That and aluminum. I don't understand why certain people can't seem to say certain things? I can say other words that are much harder but these two stump me. it doesn't help that i really don't like my government class maybe if i did i would be more excited to perfect totalitarianism...
I found out recently that this girl i thought i was friends with didn't like me cause i have nice ears... o.O ?
I really like the song If You Believe Me by Reliant K. but I can't listen to it because my mp3 is dead...
I miss camp
**facekeyboard**
I felt like quite the poet today.
smurf, smurf, oh brainy smurf
where did you put my purple nerf?
:]
now that I'm single again I'm happier. I don't feel guilty for noticing guys or smiling from ear to ear remembering some adorable moment we shared. Anyway, i'm ridin' solo ridin' solo ridin' solo ...ooOOOoooo
I spoke with joel yesterday and told him I would hug him thursday whether he liked it or not. He said he wasn't sure if he would or not and i said he would so he said he'd better :] Funny little banter like this makes me smile. Which I needed today.
I'm not about to bore you with the details of my day. anyway I discovered that I have a problem with the word totalitarianism. In my head it sounds right but it won't come out of my mouth. That and aluminum. I don't understand why certain people can't seem to say certain things? I can say other words that are much harder but these two stump me. it doesn't help that i really don't like my government class maybe if i did i would be more excited to perfect totalitarianism...
I found out recently that this girl i thought i was friends with didn't like me cause i have nice ears... o.O ?
I really like the song If You Believe Me by Reliant K. but I can't listen to it because my mp3 is dead...
I miss camp
**facekeyboard**
Monday, September 27, 2010
Overachiever...I really am crazy I think. I did the whole bible study thing and prayed and such and really i went beyond what I thought I would ever be comfortable doing. Then I got up at 5:15 and well I feel fine I'm not really tired actually I'm way more awake than I have been in a really long time and I really just feel great! Who said overachieving was a bad?!?!?!?!
This week I'm starting over. I'm going to do everything I can to be my best and glorify God in everything I say and everything I do. I even started a prayer journal (not that I haven't started them before) and I feel really good about it!
Speaking of overachieving I really need to finish these research projects that are due October 6th. I've been putting them off because I didn't fully understand them and I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to this kind of thing. I can handle not having all the directions but I like to know what I'm doing. That's what's so great about the Bible. It's all spelled out for you. You just have to look for it.
Yesterday I found something dramatic out. The boy I thought I was dating, suddenly changes his relationship status to "in a relationship" with Kristi something or other. I wasn't happy. I'm not happy actually. But I only cried a little. He obviously wasn't worth my time. He lives like 3 hours away so I was just trying to trust him, and I was doing pretty good considering trusting doesn't come easy to me. I'm not going to let this break my resolve to trust more though. I'm just not going to crawl into a hole cause he lied. That's just not me.
I'm really excited for the home swim meet tomorrow and then the one in point on Thursday. I don't know why, maybe so I can take my frustrations out on the water or something like this. Or maybe I just love swimming.
It's just another manic Monday. I'm off to school, ready for my head to be filled with knowledge that I'm just going to forget or that I don't believe. Maybe the next thing I should work on is a positive attitude about learning...but lets not get ahead of ourselves here.
This week I'm starting over. I'm going to do everything I can to be my best and glorify God in everything I say and everything I do. I even started a prayer journal (not that I haven't started them before) and I feel really good about it!
Speaking of overachieving I really need to finish these research projects that are due October 6th. I've been putting them off because I didn't fully understand them and I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to this kind of thing. I can handle not having all the directions but I like to know what I'm doing. That's what's so great about the Bible. It's all spelled out for you. You just have to look for it.
Yesterday I found something dramatic out. The boy I thought I was dating, suddenly changes his relationship status to "in a relationship" with Kristi something or other. I wasn't happy. I'm not happy actually. But I only cried a little. He obviously wasn't worth my time. He lives like 3 hours away so I was just trying to trust him, and I was doing pretty good considering trusting doesn't come easy to me. I'm not going to let this break my resolve to trust more though. I'm just not going to crawl into a hole cause he lied. That's just not me.
I'm really excited for the home swim meet tomorrow and then the one in point on Thursday. I don't know why, maybe so I can take my frustrations out on the water or something like this. Or maybe I just love swimming.
It's just another manic Monday. I'm off to school, ready for my head to be filled with knowledge that I'm just going to forget or that I don't believe. Maybe the next thing I should work on is a positive attitude about learning...but lets not get ahead of ourselves here.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
I think this is for the best... This isn't the first blog I've ever done, but i have this problem with keeping it up. Sorry to anyone who is or will be following this (not assuming that anyone is reading this). Irregular blogging is such a bad habit.
Lately I've been a bit of an insomniac. Considering that I'm in the middle of a swim season with a shoulder injury and school and 3 hour practices and these kinds of things this is unfortunate. 1 a.m computer time has become frequent but i think I'm going to have to stop because i hear that being on the computer winds you up. I thought I might try counting sheep, or waterfall tapes, maybe even do some kind of relaxation technique, but I have a feeling these thing won't work because deep down I know what I need to do.
Praying and personal bible study have become a bit of a myth to me in the past few weeks. I'm not going to make excuses for myself. Honestly I just don't want to. You'd think being up in the middle of the night anyway would give me the opportunity to do these things. Encourage me. Bring me closer to God. I get the feeling I failed a test. I've been given an opportunity and I just don't take it. Because I'm lazy.
Maybe If I read my bible regularly and prayed continually like I know I should it would be easier for me to sleep at night, and I wouldn't be weighed down by this guilt. Today I got back from a teen retreat. I saw some people I thought I would never see again and it was just so amazing and it moved me to want to climb up on the highest building and tell everyone about Jesus and how amazing he is and how much I love him and how much He loves everyone.
We talked about clothing ourselves in Christ and what that really means. Basically it means act in love(with compassion, gentleness, patience, humility, and kindness). Truthfully those were some of the best bible studies I've ever had. It's something that's really going to stick with me and I hope that I can share some of these things with other people. It really made me think, reevaluate myself and my actions. When DID God go out of style?
I used to be so sure about what I want to do and who I want to be. Swimming in the Olympics has been a huge part of my life for so long. This is the year I make nationals, I'm going to make high school state every year, this is what I need to focus on. But I know that just isn't going to happen. I injured myself and after this high school season I'm out for a whole USA season. There's no way I can even make the trials in 2011 with my shoulders like this. I would take a miracle.
This all made me reevaluate my life. I love Jesus and camp and swimming. But it seems i put swimming before everything, even God. I think that if I did have to stop swimming and if i really never can go to the Olympics I'll be completely torn apart, but I'll survive. I don't like to think about that though.
When I was little I had a swim coach who said right in front of me that he had absolutely nobody he could take to nationals. Nobody was good enough. I'm seconds away from those times he said I would never get near. So I'm not going to mope about it. I'm still going to try 10 times harder than the average bear. I hope that this is just a minor setback till I can get my priorities straight again.
Even if this blog is only ever read by me I'm going to try my hardest to keep it on some kind of schedule.
Lately I've been a bit of an insomniac. Considering that I'm in the middle of a swim season with a shoulder injury and school and 3 hour practices and these kinds of things this is unfortunate. 1 a.m computer time has become frequent but i think I'm going to have to stop because i hear that being on the computer winds you up. I thought I might try counting sheep, or waterfall tapes, maybe even do some kind of relaxation technique, but I have a feeling these thing won't work because deep down I know what I need to do.
Praying and personal bible study have become a bit of a myth to me in the past few weeks. I'm not going to make excuses for myself. Honestly I just don't want to. You'd think being up in the middle of the night anyway would give me the opportunity to do these things. Encourage me. Bring me closer to God. I get the feeling I failed a test. I've been given an opportunity and I just don't take it. Because I'm lazy.
Maybe If I read my bible regularly and prayed continually like I know I should it would be easier for me to sleep at night, and I wouldn't be weighed down by this guilt. Today I got back from a teen retreat. I saw some people I thought I would never see again and it was just so amazing and it moved me to want to climb up on the highest building and tell everyone about Jesus and how amazing he is and how much I love him and how much He loves everyone.
We talked about clothing ourselves in Christ and what that really means. Basically it means act in love(with compassion, gentleness, patience, humility, and kindness). Truthfully those were some of the best bible studies I've ever had. It's something that's really going to stick with me and I hope that I can share some of these things with other people. It really made me think, reevaluate myself and my actions. When DID God go out of style?
I used to be so sure about what I want to do and who I want to be. Swimming in the Olympics has been a huge part of my life for so long. This is the year I make nationals, I'm going to make high school state every year, this is what I need to focus on. But I know that just isn't going to happen. I injured myself and after this high school season I'm out for a whole USA season. There's no way I can even make the trials in 2011 with my shoulders like this. I would take a miracle.
This all made me reevaluate my life. I love Jesus and camp and swimming. But it seems i put swimming before everything, even God. I think that if I did have to stop swimming and if i really never can go to the Olympics I'll be completely torn apart, but I'll survive. I don't like to think about that though.
When I was little I had a swim coach who said right in front of me that he had absolutely nobody he could take to nationals. Nobody was good enough. I'm seconds away from those times he said I would never get near. So I'm not going to mope about it. I'm still going to try 10 times harder than the average bear. I hope that this is just a minor setback till I can get my priorities straight again.
Even if this blog is only ever read by me I'm going to try my hardest to keep it on some kind of schedule.
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